definition of middle child syndrome

I found this today at

The middle or second born child or children often have the sense of not belonging. They fight to receive attention from parents and others because they feel many times they are being ignored or dubbed off as being the same as another sibling. Being in the middle a child can feel insecure. The middle child often lacks drive and looks for direction from the first born child. Sometimes a middle child feels out of place because they are not over achievers and like to go with the flow of things.

Being a middle child would mean they are loners. They really don’t like to latch on to a person in a relationship, there fore they have trouble keeping one due to lack of interest. Not liking to take the limelight for anything, they are not over achievers and just simply work enough work to get by, and typically that goes with school as well as a career. They are however very artistic and creative. If forced to use abilities they will work well, but do not work well under pressure. They often start several projects but rarely keep focused long enough to finish a project. The best career move for a middle child would be along the lines of using their creative. Going into a writing or journalism career, and into a career that they could freely express themselves would be good. Anything that would have hours that are flexible, and projects that frequently changed would be good for a middle born child. Since relationships are not of high importance to a middle child, often times they are alone. However, the best possible match for a middle child would be a last born.

Is that you? “Going into a writing or journalism career, and into a career that they could freely express themselves would be good”. Makes me wonder where the broadcasters were in their family order? Interestingly, the majority of people on my course appear to be the eldest or the only child. Adler is known  as the pioneer of the birth order theory and developed a model that characterised the child up to position 16 in the family. His belief, which is both accepted and rejected by researchers, is that the order or position of a child’s birth in the family influences their personality. However, what is often misunderstood is the fact that Adler did not believe it was simply the order of birth that influenced a child’s character, but rather it was the child’s environment, as well as their natural instinct or interpretation of their birth order which molded personalities. So perhaps we need to apply a subjective analysis of each individual case and the environmental conditions. This will be a topic I will come back to.

I now need to visit Evens Cycles to buy some mineral oil as my front hydraulic disc brake is not working.

About Noel Bell

Psychotherapist in London. Check out my blog posts and more at
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One Response to definition of middle child syndrome

  1. My sister is a middle child who is only 10 months younger than our oldest–a brother. Over the years, her own personality began to “disappear” as my brother and I got married and started new lives. During those years, her hatred for me grew exponentially. We are now incommunicado because I could no longer take her abuse: biting, scathing remarks, wild accusations, making me pay extra for parental gifts, etc. I didn’t know how to make her stop. She’s had therapy, but it didn’t last/work. I had to break off our relationship, actually hoping she’d realize what she had been doing, but instead she blames me . . . again!

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